How early is too early to smoke crack!?! I mean, really?

I wrote this a few years ago. I referred to it a few days ago in class. So for all my students out there who are curious :)

This morning I was driving along on my way to work which I was really happy about because yesterday I was at home all day long with Kate. I love Kate but 24/7 with her can be taxing especially if she has exploding diarrhea which she had yesterday--I would go into detail but perhaps you would like me to spare you that, I'll just say this....I had to cover the sofa with a blanket!

And anyhoo--I was driving listening to Piper's brother Ace on the radio and I noticed that the car in front of me was swerving and that the driver had a pipe in his hand. I checked the clock and indeed it was 7:55am. I'm very cautious these days because I was just in an auto accident (not my fault! thank God) and it totaled my car and almost totaled me. And when a driver is acting erratic as this one was it is very disheartening. HOW EARLY IS TOO EARLY TO SMOKE CRACK?!

Kate's grandmother, Margaret, has a theory about drinking; you never drink before 5:00pm or before you walk from one end of the beach to the other. I'm in complete agreement with Margaret, except that I think on Sunday you can drink when the game starts which might be before 5:00pm. But CRACK at 7:55am?! I mean come on....have some klass people......